Sometimes Shit Happens
by Leonhard van Euler
Summary: Oneshot: When Harry and Ron see the Ford Anglia for the last time during their second year, they never thought that they would see it again. But now, years later, during the Battle of Hogwarts, the very same car comes to Harry's rescue during his face-off with Voldemort. Inspired by a tumblr post.


**I'm not even sure how I should explain this oneshot. I think most of it can be summarised with the word 'tumblr'**

 **If you want to see the original tumblr post that inspired this oneshot copy this into your browser:** **post/ 127988605449**

 **just delete the spaces in between.**

 **Anyway; those of you who read my other stories, might notice that this oneshot is similar to the story 'when angels fly' and yeah, I wrote this in about an hour or two, so I just took some stuff from other stories I've written. Oh... and btw, some of the text in this oneshot is from the book...**

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Harry was having a pretty crappy day, and that was an understatement.

Suddenly realising that you are the unintentional host for an evil Dark Lord's mutilated soul generally puts a damper on things. But, Harry mused as he looked down at the snitch in his hands, he supposed he'd known for quite a while that at the end of the day, he too, would have to die. For the _greater good_ at least.

He had finally understood that his job was to walk calmly into Death's welcoming arms. Along the way, he was to dispose of Voldemort's remaining links to life, so that when he at last found himself across his path, and did not raise a wand to defend himself, the end would be clean and the job that ought to have been done in Godric's Hollow would be finished: neither would live, neither could survive.

He felt his heart pounding fiercely in his chest. How strange that in the dread of death, it pumped all the harder, valiantly keeping him alive. Slowly, very slowly, Harry took a step into the Forbidden forest. He was hidden underneath his clock of course, no one, even those actively searching for Death Eaters to capture would be able to find him.

He suddenly felt more alive and more aware of his own living body than ever before. Why had he never appreciated what a miracle he was, brain and never and pounding heart? It would all be gone… or at least, he would be gone from it. His breath came slow and deep and his mouth and throat were completely dry, but so were his eyes.

Was this what suicide victims felt like when they were about to commit suicide? For that was what he was doing. He was finally finishing a suicide mission that Dumbledore had set out for him. How elegant, how utterly beautifully elegant to give a task such as hunting down the horcruxes to a walking dead man. No more unnecessary victims, no abundance of dead bodies.

Harry took one glance back at the entrance to Hogwarts. People were moving around, trying to comfort each other, drinking, kneeling beside the dead, but he could not see any of the people he loved, no hint of Hermione, Ron, Ginny or any of the other Weasleys, no Luna. The people that he could see in the distance were little specks compared to everything else. Little ants. And they seemed so very far away right now.

He felt a sudden emptiness surround his heart and he noticed that a swarm of Dementors was gliding amongst the trees; he could feel their chill, and he was not sure he would be able to pass safely through it. He had no strength left for a Patronus. He could no longer control his own trembling. This was the end. The strategy of the winning team had been laid on the table, and their win was almost undeniable now.

He could hear voices in the distance; people murmuring to each other, some laughing manically. Instinctively Harry knew that the Death-Eaters' camp was located in that general direction. Drawing a deep breath, Harry pulled the invisibility cloak closer around himself and started stumbling his way through the forest.

"Someone there," came a rough whisper close at hand. "He's got an Invisibility Cloak - could it be-?" Two male figures had emerged from behind a nearby tree, wands raised and throwing beams of light into the general darkness. One of them - Harry recognised him as Yaxley - was waving his arms around, as though attempting to find the invisible person.

"Definitely heard something," said Yaxley, eyes narrowed as his eyes surveyed the area. "Animal, d'you reckon?"

"That headcase Hagrid kept a whole bunch of stuff in here," said Dolohov, glancing over his shoulder as though afraid that some sort of giant spider would attack him. Harry tried to stay as still as possible.

Yaxley glanced down at his watch. "Time's nearly up. Potter's had his hour and he hasn't shown."

"Our Lord won't be happy," Dolohov murmured and extinguished the light bursting from his wand. They were instantly plunged into darkness.

"Better go back," Yaxley replied and made an aborted gesture with his hand, "Find out what the plan is now."

Dolohov and Yaxley turned and walked deeper into the forest. Harry followed them, knowing that they would lead him exactly to where he wanted to go. The travelled for a few more minutes and then suddenly Harry saw a light a head, and Yaxley and Dolohov stepped out into a clearing that Harry knew had been the place where the monstrous Aragog had once lived. The remnants of his vast web were still there, but the swarm of descendants he had spawned had been driven out by the Death Eaters.

A fire burned in the middle of said clearing; the single source of light in immediate vicinity. Men and women, and creatures were all assembled around it. They spoke in hushed tones to each other, gleefully retelling stories of how they had tortured muggleborn Hogwarts students. Their faces were cruel, some even distorted and their eyes glinted with malice and hate.

This crowd of 'misfits' was full of people that Harry didn't recognise; but he did manage to spot a Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange. They stood at Voldemort's side, staring at him with fanatic adoration. As for the man himself; he stood regally on the other side of the clearing. His red eyes surveyed his army with triumph and slight disgust, as though he thought that vindictive, sadistic purebloods were beneath him. His head was tilted upwards and if he had had a nose, Harry would have said that it was raised into the air in arrogance.

And Harry had never felt such intense hate for someone before.

When Dolohov and Yaxley finally rejoined the circle, Voldemort looked up. "No sign of him, my Lord," Dolohov said, respectfully bowing his head. Voldemort's cold expression didn't change, but the eyes seemed to narrow a little in annoyance.

"I thought that he would come," said Voldemort in his high, clear voice, his eyes on the leaping flames. "I expected him to come." If the words had come out of any other teenager's mouth, Harry would have thought that it was someone who had been stood up at a date.

The sudden silence in the clearing was deafening. Save for Hagrid's occasional whines of pain and sobs, there wasn't a sound to be heard. Some of the lower tier Death-Eaters were exchanging worried glances with each other and Harry knew that when Voldemort was displeased for whatever reason, he would start throwing **Cruciatus** Curses around like candy.

"I was, it seems... mistaken," Voldemort said, in that same mockingly saddened voice. Harry bit his lip. It was now or never.

Ripping the cloak off his body, Harry stuffed under his robes and pulled out his wand. "You weren't!" He said as loud as possible, hoping that his voice wouldn't tremble and betray him.

A sudden cacophony of noises erupted; the large hoard of giants standing behind Voldemort started stomping their feet, making the ground tremble. The Death Eaters let out loud cries of surprise and drew their wands as one. The prisoners, who were all tied, started shifting around nervously and shouting things like 'stupid boy!' 'get the bloody hell outta here'. As for Voldemort; he stood frozen in his little spotlight, but his hateful eyes had found Harry's.

And then, the Dark Lord raised a hand and in an instant all sound was swallowed up. The Death Eaters' gazes swung towards their master and seeing his glare, they hesitantly lowered their wands. The giants stopped stomping their feet and the prisoners were silenced.

"Harry Potter," Voldemort said softly. "The boy who lived."

No one spoke, nor moved, nor made any sound whatsoever. The were all waiting: everything was waiting. Even the creatures in the forest stared on with morbid fascination. Voldemort raised his wand. His head was still tilted to one side, like a curious child, wondering what would happen if he proceeded. Harry looked back into the red eyes, and wanted it to happen now, quickly, while he could still stand, before he lost control, before he betrayed fear-

He saw the mouth move and the wand being raised and he almost closed his eyes to welcome death but-

The moment was lost as the loud growl of an... engine was heard. Everyone's heads turned to the edge of the clearing and everyone stared on, confused when they saw nothing. But then... the air seemed to ripple and... a blue car appeared.

For a moment, Harry blinked at it, unsure what to make of it. But then, memories of his second year and his arrival at Hogwarts came to the forefront of his mind and he started to laugh. It didn't matter anymore that he was surrounded by Death-Eaters or that Voldemort's wand was trained on him; all that mattered was the slightly bashed up car that now stood at the edge of the clearing, right between Voldemort and Harry.

Considering how long the car had lived in the forest, it looked pretty good. The paint was peeling off, and it was bashed up in places. The rear window still had a gaping hole. Nevertheless, the lights inside were still lit and the engine still seemed to work. And then the most peculiar thing happened; the car **revved** it's engine and the back tired seemed to spin for a moment before the Ford Anglia swerved and spun around to meet Voldemort's bemused expression. The Death Eaters around Harry seemed not to know what to make of this situation and they hesitantly raised their wands in the car's direction. Most of them had most likely never even seen a car.

And then... the Ford Anglia let go of it's breaks.

Harry watched in slow motion as the car drew closer and closer to Voldemort. It seemed to correct its course a few times, and then, also in slow motion, Harry watched with widened eyes as the car struck Voldemort throwing him to the ground. The Dark Lord's scream was loud, high and clear as the Ford Anglia revved its engine again and with a mighty roar drove over Voldemort. As though that wasn't enough, the car then backed up and repeated the motion.

Death Eaters around Harry were shouting and screaming and several of them attempted to curse their car. But their torture curses were of no use against a sentient muggle machine. Harry stood to the side, mouth gaping open as he clutched onto his wand and gazed at the scene before him. The car was still making back and forward motions over Voldemort, effectively driving over him over and over again.

Bellatrix was screaming at the top of her lungs 'Master!' 'My Dark Lord!' while a few of the slightly smarted Death Eaters attempted to grab onto Voldemort and pull him out. But every time they came close, the Ford Anglia growled at them. To Harry, it looked as though some of them thought that the car was some sort of dangerous creature.

Grinning widely, Harry started snickering to himself. The great Dark Lord defeated by a muggle, sentient car? Ohhhh, the papers were going to have fun with that headline! 'Creamed Dark Lord'? 'Death by car'?

The car very suddenly stopped driving over Voldemort and backed away. It swerved again and suddenly it was standing by Harry. The passenger door swung open and Harry took that as a sign for 'get the hell in. NOW'. A glance at Voldemort confirmed that the man was dead. His head was flattened and his bones seemed to be sticking out at odd angles. For all intents and purposes, Voldemort's body was dead.

Throwing himself into the passenger seat, Harry allowed himself to be driven back through the forest that he had trekked through and back to the castle. There at the gates, stood Hermione and Ron. Ron seemed to be comforting Hermione. Evidently they thought that he had decided to turn himself in; and effectively die. However, their eyes widened as a spluttering Ford Anglia drew closer to them. Harry didn't even have to climb out of it, because suddenly, he found himself tossed onto the ground.

The car gave another fond growl before turning invisible and seemingly disappearing from the scene.

Harry lay on the ground, still laughing his ass off. When he finally calmed somewhat, and stopped clutching his stomach in pain, he found a concerned Hermione and Ron staring down at him. Ron was the first to speak; "What the hell happened, mate?"

The Boy-Who-Lived let out another short laugh before he drew himself up to a half-sitting position. He rested his body on his elbows and stared up at them, mirth clear in his eyes.

"I, ehm, think that Voldemort just got creamed by a car."

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 **So ehm, this was purely for my own amusement. I hope you guys liked it. XD**

 **Oh and, my name is tardisdementor on tumblr if you want to check out my blog... don't hesitate to send me prompts too!**

 **oh, and btw, I know that the horcrux is still in harry's head and nagini is still alive... but just ignore that for the sake of this short oneshot XD**


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